An Open Letter to my Anonymous Spammer
Dear Comment Spammer,
Thankyou for sending the same comment on everysingle one of my posts. I can only assume that you really like my work and every post on the site particularly because you mention you like my writing style every time. However when I went to reciprocate the favour your site featured pictures of naked women. Were you aware of this? Some of the pictures even have women and men trying to make babies. I was horrified and after searching through every page on your site for a contact page or exit button, I finally managed to close down the site after running out of moisteriser and tissues.
My friend Kevin told me that I had in fact, visited a pornography website, but it was OK because he would ban them soon in Australia anyway. Still it hurts me not to be able to let you know how much I appreciated the sentiment of your comments on my post. It was lucky you sent the comments though when you did because I accidently installed Askimet and now I dont get many comments at all. And lots of the comments I do get, actually have the nerve to argue with me, provide more infomation or an opposing point of view like I actually allow comments for discussion or something. Not you though, you just re-affirm my self-confidence, whack about 20 links in there and be on your way like a true anonymous hero. You are a real nice guy or gal and its hard to find these types of people online.
I wonder if you know or are related to some of the other people who comment on my site. You all write extremely similar messages and you are very successful because you have so many websites. I only have a couple but then again I don’t comment on many blogs so that is probably why. I have heard people on forums and stuff bad mouthing you for saying nice things about so many people, but I suspect that they are just jealous because you would have so many friends and lots of money compared to them. I reckon you should video yourself writing all these nice messages and post it on youtube. You could be like that guy that gave free hugs away and he is super famous and everyone loves him now. Why do people who want to hug everyone always look like they are afraid of the shower? Anyway if you get as successful as the dirty, hippie, hugging guy, then maybe hallmark or someone will give you a job in writing nice messages and you can be even more rich and popular, if that is even possible.