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An Open Letter to my Anonymous Spammer

5 June 2010 7 Comments

Dear Comment Spammer,

Thankyou for sending the same comment on everysingle one of my posts. I can only assume that you really like my work and every post on the site particularly because you mention you like my writing style every time. However when I went to reciprocate the favour your site featured pictures of naked women. Were you aware of this? Some of the pictures even have women and men trying to make babies. I was horrified and after searching through every page on your site for a contact page or exit button, I finally managed to close down the site after running out of moisteriser and tissues.

My friend Kevin told me that I had in fact, visited a pornography website, but it was OK because he would ban them soon in Australia anyway. Still it hurts me not to be able to let you know how much I appreciated the sentiment of your comments on my post. It was lucky you sent the comments though when you did because I accidently installed Askimet and now I dont get many comments at all. And lots of the comments I do get, actually have the nerve to argue with me, provide more infomation or an opposing point of view like I actually allow comments for discussion or something. Not you though, you just re-affirm my self-confidence, whack about 20 links in there and be on your way like a true anonymous hero. You are a real nice guy or gal and its hard to find these types of people online.

I wonder if you know or are related to some of the other people who comment on my site. You all write extremely similar messages and you are very successful because you have so many websites. I only have a couple but then again I don’t comment on many blogs so that is probably why. I have heard people on forums and stuff bad mouthing you for saying nice things about so many people, but I suspect that they are just jealous because you would have so many friends and lots of money compared to them. I reckon you should video yourself writing all these nice messages and post it on youtube. You could be like that guy that gave free hugs away and he is super famous and everyone loves him now. Why do people who want to hug everyone always look like they are afraid of the shower? Anyway if you get as successful as the dirty, hippie, hugging guy, then maybe hallmark or someone will give you a job in writing nice messages and you can be even more rich and popular, if that is even possible.

Cheers
Adam

7 Comments »

  • steve said:

    “Some of the pictures even have women and men trying to make babies.” Ah,that should have been a pleasant sight.may i know the URL?ha ha.just kidding.by the way,you made me laugh real hard,so thanks so much 😀

    [Reply]

    Adam Diver Reply:

    If you want the URL, create a blog and watch the offers come flooding in through the comments sections. My anonymosus spammer is definately not afraid to spread the love.

    [Reply]

  • larry said:

    Is there a true way to stop spammers, and how do they get email addresses, who sells them my C type of email address that I never use but always seem to get spam in?

    [Reply]

    Adam Diver Reply:

    Short Answer is Yes. Askimet does a fantastic job filtering out spam comments.

    [Reply]

  • maddie said:

    Lol. Love it. =) hahaha. it’s a very touching letter to a very, very dedicated individual. =)

    Good luck tracking him/her down.

    [Reply]

  • email lookup said:

    As they say precaution is better than cure, So I think we’d better prevent our email addresses from being used by spammers. An easy way to do this is to not puting an email address as it is – meaning that in the email form – on the websites and blogs…

    [Reply]

  • GI Joe Toys said:

    Bravo on your post. Every word is true and the entire post is hysterical. I receive so many spammy comments it’s not even funny. Thanks for the insight and documenting your experience. It’s nice to know that others have shared in my pain. :)

    [Reply]

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