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Seven Sides Of A Sister (The Maestro)

12 August 2010 No Comment

This is the first post by “The Maestro” who will feature wekkly here at Scribble Scratch. He was to provide a unique perspective on some of the topics I am covering but in true Maestro fashion, he has ignored all of my advice and wrote whatever the hell he wanted to anyway. – Adam

Sisters. Love them or loathe them, chances are you have one. And if you are unlucky (or lucky) enough not to have one then I feel for you because they really do make life much more fun. Or is that painful? Entertaining? Awkward? Embarrassing? Humorous? All of the above? I can say with confidence that it is all of the above and many more adjectives that would take too long to mention.

So what is it about sisters that makes them so lovable or loath-able? They come in many shapes and sizes with a myriad of personalities. And if you are unlucky enough, your sister(s) probably has multiple personalities and you are never actually certain which beast within her you are actually talking to. I’m about to go into a (skin) deep analysis of these personalities that you may or may not have had the pleasure of encountering. Here we go……..

Personality Type 1 – The Cool Little/Older Sis.

This is probably the best of the personality types that you can hope your sister to have. The Cool Sister is fun to be around. You can socialise with her. You can talk to her about anything. She will buy you a beer if you’re short and then ask for a vodka red bull when you can afford it. Ok. Bad example. She’ll wing-man for you. Introduce you to her attractive friends. Help keep unwanted attention away from you. Assist you entering clubs when it is seemingly impossible to get in unless you have female accompaniment. This sister is the bomb. Borderline indispensable. A toast to the Cool Little/Older Sis!!

Personality Type 2 – The Princess

This is probably the antithesis of type 1. This sister is by and large, a bitch. And that is being nice. She is daddy’s little girl and committing murder and escaping without punishment is probably within the realms of possibility for her. She will sometimes display some of the traits of type 1. However, the interminable gap between such displays takes about as long as it would take to mow your lawn with nail clippers. Basically, if you have this type of sister, you understand the true meaning of agony and probably aren’t afraid of going to hell.

Personality Type 3 – The Comedienne

This is a rather rare type of sister. One that can crack a joke and have guys and girls alike laugh out loud. Or even in hysterics. Being funny is an invaluable asset. It endears you to everyone. And it is hard not to have friends when you are so good at making people laugh. Therefore, having a sister that can have you, your mates, her mates and anyone within ear shot giggling uncontrollably is a definite boost to your social standing. Keep the Comedienne close at hand………

Personality Type 4 – The Arrogant Intellect

This is also a rare type. Not because girls aren’t intelligent but because intelligent girls aren’t often arrogant. Although every now and again you will run into one with this filthy air of disdainful arrogance about her that you will strongly consider betraying your oath never to harm a woman or child. She is just asking you to headbutt her really. She will talk down to you. Consider your arguments and dismiss them without thought, regardless of how correct you are. Her nose is constantly in the air. Mortals aren’t within reach of touching this piece of creative and logical genius. Her prodigious talent isn’t worth wasting upon anyone without a PH.D. Chances are this sister has very few friends and you wont be losing much by cutting her loose from your list of associates.

Personality Type 5 – The Sportswoman

This is a useful attribute to have in your sister. The Sporty Spice look is good for her and it is good for you. A sports lover is going to be fit, which means she is likely to play team sports. I think you know where I’m going with this one. Her teammates are also going to be fit. Fit chicks are hot. Lean bodies. Athleticism. Flexible. Ok, ok I will stop. Sporty Sister = Good. ‘Nuff said.

Personality Type 6 – The Shy Introvert

This is not necessarily a bad thing. A quiet sister isn’t going to be annoying. She wont hassle you for money or favours. She will probably help you if you need it. The shy sister though isn’t likely to be much fun to hang out with on a Friday night. Sure you can go and watch movies or TV but you aren’t going to want to chill every weekend with your sister. The introvert is good for quiet time, just not party time. Not a bad one to be around but isn’t going to help you out much when it comes time to have a cold beer. Or six

Personality Type 7 – A little bit of column A, B, C, D………

This sister is one huge conglomerate of the previous 6 and then some. She could be the sweetest girl imaginable one minute and trying to knock your head off the next. She could show you a great place to hang out and introduce you to some cool people and then turn around and find her telling said cool people how much of a loser you are. You could be discussing the appropriateness of public displays of affection and then screaming about who’s turn it is to use the internet. This wild child can be angrier than Mike Tyson or nicer than Mother Theresa. It is a roll of the dice people, except this dice has 16 sides, with each side more bizarre than the last. Some might think that this variety is exciting. Some might think that it’s good to have such an interesting individual in the same gene pool. Others might detest the sight of her. Pray for her to be hit by a bus. Have a 5 tonne anvil fall on her head. Whichever way you lean, you can never say she is boring. Ever………

Why this analysis then? Well I have one younger sister living amidst the chaos I call home. I’ve watched her grow, even as I have and she never ceases to amaze me. She is one of the kindest and most loving people I have ever met. Intelligent, audacious, quick-witted, slow-witted (lol), generous. These words only begin to scratch the surface of who she is. I’m tempted to say that of these personality types she is a 7 but she is without doubt a number 1. She is the archetype Cool Little Sis and my life would be poorer if it was devoid of her.

For all those out there with a sister, whether you love or loathe her, you can’t deny that even if it is only sometimes, you are glad that she is there. I know that I am. And I love her as much as I love anything else in this world.

Now I just need to make sure she never reads this!

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